I'm going crazy

It's five in the morning now. When I got home from work at the Diamondback at 1am I was struck with the stupid desire to "be productive." So, I set about doing that. One painting, a comic strip, a bunch of emails, two energy drinks and several cigarettes later, I'm sitting in my cold basement listening to RX Bandits, posting to this blog and trying to figure out how I'm going to get a canvas stretched for my 9am painting class.

It sucks.

I've lost all motivation to sleep and my hands are cold. What the hell kind of way is this to act? I pose the question to you, you "blog readers" because I do not know the answer.

Anyhow, it is now my goal to make this blog worth a damn. In keeping with that goal, I've resolved to post regularly about things less cartoon-related and more Mike O'Brien-related. My reasoning--I think a lot. And I keep most of those thoughts to myself. Fuck that. Now, those thoughts are going on the internet. You can expect to hear a lot more from Mike O'Brien.

I hope you like this shit.

Oh yeah, I'm quitting my comic strip at the Diamondback. No more Nut Butter. That shit is done. Now, I'll be working on things a little more...creative. Like animations. I haven't made one of those in a long time. You people deserve better. The idea I have is to make some animated comedy shorts. I've got the resources to do it, and plenty of funny people around me, so why not kick into gear and make something? You'd like that. I'd like that.

I'm carrying on, but I don't care. I found some gloves so these hands will keep on typing.

Moving on, I've come across a thought to share. It's about comparing yourself to people who are better than you. I can't help doing it. It makes me unhappy. I am a cocky guy, going around thinking I'm the shit because I draw cartoons for the Diamondback and do well in my art classes. But the only reason I feel so good is because I've put myself into a context where I can easily excel. The art department at the University of Maryland is not competitive. People don't come to Maryland to study art, they go to art school.

And I draw cartoons for the Diamondback. That's cool, but nobody cares. My job is a joke, in a very literal sense. There are people working at the Diamondback who do things that are tangible and important. They report the news. That's important. People need that information. Laughing is a luxury.

Then you have people telling me that I'm going to be famous some day because I draw cartoons. Don't do that! It sends me into a ridiculous guilt trip because I start to think that what I do really is relevant. Then I go to work at the Diamondback and I see these people working their asses off to report the news without anyone telling them they're going to be famous one day. It's a humbling experience to see people work at something where the possibility of glorification is slim. I can do a shitty job at my cartoons and people will still give me a pat on the back. If these reporters and editors get a story wrong, they get yelled at by angry people.

I've come to the point in my blog post where it's crazy to think anyone is still reading my shit. So I'll throw in a couple expletives and end it.

Fuck shit cock.